I've been traveling since new year's eve and won't start my return trip to the states until the 19th (just less than 3 days from now). This isn't the longest I've been away from the comforts of my home or the everyday things that make life so easy. However, the last 17 days have been so full and changing that I feel like I've been away for a year.
That brings us to the title of this entry...so first, let's talk a little about bravery.
I've been told on several occasions (and was told in September as well) that I'm brave for traveling as I do. I suppose to some extent I can understand this, but ultimately, I can't quite wrap my mind around what it is that makes me brave. Is it so strange for a person to travel on her/his own, or is it the distance that makes people feel as they do? Or is it that I'm a female traveling on my own that sets me up for conversations around how it feels to travel? I feel less brave than privileged and far less brave than blessed by good fortune. I've been on my own for longer than I can remember (in various ways, of course) and this just seems, to me, like my next venture. However, I was also recently told that the people on this project (Read Malawi) are brave for undergoing the issues that we face daily. She said to me that most people would grow impatient and just "do the work for them," referring to the difference between building capacity and being a hero. Perhaps there is a certain level of bravery in what we do, if you choose to look at it that way, but I don't. To me bravery is less noble than showy and quite frankly, I tend to feel that bravery is cowardice in disguise. Instead, the way I see that our project is different from "hero mentality" endeavors is based in the simple principle that we are humans helping humans.
I could go on and define or describe to you the philosophy of humanism but I fear that this entry will then turn into a novel. So, if you're interested, I'm sure you can find something on Wikipedia; or maybe you could just read some John Dewey or Thomas Pain. My point is that when people acknowledge and accept that it is through our connections with others that we benefit most in our lives and enrich the lives of our neighbors, then the work that we do together will cultivate a wealthy society.
Off of my soapbox and onto the simple pleasures...
When you spend a great deal of time away from the comforts of your home or the everyday things that make life easy, you begin to value all the things that are so easily taken for granted. I experienced this at camp and on the first long trip for the project, in July. For the past several days the only things that have been on my mind are: tide fresh laundry, running on trails, febreeze, and of course, my bed. As usual, my body aches and the lack of physical activity has me feeling quite frumpy and well, frankly, fat. The humidity from the rainy season has my clothes feeling and smelling funky which makes me incredibly eager to do laundry upon my return. Deodorant is also nice, when it works...it doesn't work much in Malawi. The other simple pleasures that I miss most are things like grabbing a drink with a friend, chatting on Skype (or some other method), using my overrated Blackberry for, well, everything!
I love Malawi, and will return at any and every opportunity for any length of time. However, I can acknowledge the little things that I miss about being home, and in some ways, I'm excited to return to them soon.
It's getting late and I'm getting tired. There are two full and frantic days left before my time here is over so I'm going to head back to my room and get some sleep. I hope you'll think about what it means to be brave and consider what it means to be human. Maybe you won't see much difference at all...but then, maybe you will. And enjoy life's little pleasures, you never know when they won't be around.
Until Next Time,
Courtney Chivon
