I stayed up for a good long while last night/this morning trying to write a “resolution” blog. The last time I wrote one in December was in 2012. I like to save my “resolution” blogs for April, since that’s the literal start of a new year for me. Anyway, I couldn’t get anything out. I sat and stared at a flashing cursor for over two hours and only managed to make dot art with perfectly tabbed periods. I listened to music, the kind I always listen to when I’m writing – the slow melodic sounds of heartbreak. Why that inspires me, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because it conjures up sadness or heartbreak for me too. Maybe because I feel like you have to have some understanding of La Vie Boheme in order to really know emotion – maybe that’s biased. Maybe it’s only after you’ve trudged through darkness that you’re ever able to finally see light.
There it is – the reason I had such a hard time writing last night: hyperbole.
Something happens between December 26th and January 2nd every year that causes everyone, everywhere to speak in hyperbole and I have come to hate it. I can see the ceremony of it all – now is the best time to make changes – new year, new _____. Go ahead, fill in the blank with whatever you want. January 1st has become a symbol of change. People spend their last few days or hours leading up to the new date reflecting over their life. What happened in the last 365 days? Who was born? Who died? What’s been accomplished? Where are the failures? What needs to change and how will it be done? Have you ever noticed that the New Year brings out the same emotion as a catastrophic event? You know the kind – those events that cause people to use the clichéd message of holding your kids tighter, or always telling someone you care, or reminding yourself that another day of life is never guaranteed. It’s so interesting to me that two polar events would result in the same exact emotion and type of reflection. With all that reflection comes the desire to change something, but only after ______. Again, fill in the blank. After the New Year, after we pay off this car, after my raise, after this last piece of cake – then I’ll do something. Momentum for those changes slows down, quickly, because that isn’t the part of the lifestyle that needs to change, so changes from it rarely mean anything.
Where does that leave those of us who spend every single day in a state of reflection? There’s only so much a person can take before they feel like they’ll actually combust. Some of us are in a constant state of change and it doesn’t take some catastrophic event or the change of a calendar year to make us more aware. It’s frustrating that I’m expected to reflect on my year and resolve to do something different or better or new when I do that all year long. This blog is evidence of that, I think. Go back to Chapter One and see the progression. Some things remained the same over the years – all those hyperbolic statements kept creeping in. But other things did change, including the slow omission of all that hyperbole which resulted in me writing from a place of authenticity and not like an outsider. If you don’t feel like revisiting all 55 chapters, don’t worry, I did that for you last night too – trust me when I say, there’s been a change.
If grandiose statements about life and change are what you need to propel you through the New Year, then please, shout them loud and clear from rooftops or in Facebook status updates. I would encourage you, however, to take some moments to revisit your vision board and decide if it’s a true reflection of who you are or if it’s a superficial way to imagine changes you know you’ll never make. All those feelings that get stirred by the ushering of a new year are there because people look at December 31st as a reset button. Like all the problems of the former year will dissolve in the champagne when you’re toasting to all that awaits you in the year yet to come. Then what happens? That annual gym membership pays for itself in the first week of the year and then is never looked at again. Your relationships don’t change. You still don’t have any money. By next December 31st you’re depressed and feel like a failure all over again. Why put yourself through that agony?
Life is about choice and choice is what causes change. You have to make choices every single day. You have to be willing and ready to change things every single day. The New Year isn’t going to do it for you no matter what intentions you burn for the universe. You have to be willing to look at yourself every day and make a choice – is this the life I want for me? In the meantime, continue to share the one-size fits all memes about letting go of the past and embracing the future – it will matter to someone, even if it shows that someone how those messages don’t matter at all.
