Chapter 35: Who's My Guy...?

DISCLAIMER: I am not looking for a husband. I am not looking for a boyfriend. 

Let me start by saying that this "survey," as it's been labeled from participants, was never meant to be taken so seriously that anyone would think it's "real." I only asked that people respond in a serious way, i.e., don't say I should be with Noah from The Notebook. Let's face it, he doesn't exist. That said, I want to thank those of you who did participate. I found the responses quite entertaining and a little eye-opening. The type of partner friends see me with has to be a reflection of what friends see in me...right? It was also fun to think about who wrote what...the friendships I have with people are greatly reflected in their responses. That's neither good nor bad, it just is...everyone knows a different version of me and that is evident here. It was all in good fun though, and I have loved reading everything.

You may be wondering what started all of this. Well, I've had several plots, ideas, themes for a novel but recently I decided to follow one. And while I am always pulling ideas from my personal experiences, this time I decided to deliberately enlist the help of my sister. Plus, I would need someone to conduct the "research" and it had to be someone I could trust. It was also a deliberate decision to have people respond to her, as random as it seemed, so as to eliminate as much bias as possible. When someone talks about you with another person knowing they have a level of security in anonymity, they tend to respond more honestly. If I had directly asked the question I think I would have received different responses.

So, about the book....well, sort of. While most of my close friends have finally accepted that I enjoy my personal life as it exists, I do still hear sentiments like, "are you ever going to start dating again? what if you let Mr. Right go by? I/We just don't want you to be alone forever..." You get the point. But I'm so tired of dating. The game isn't fair, it isn't regulated, and it certainly isn't consistent. After watching TV one night I had a thought, "what was so wrong with arranged marriages, anyway?"

Now, of course, I don't honestly believe that arranged marriages need a come back but I have thought that it would be a lot easier if somebody else had to do the weeding. Alas, an idea was born. While I'm not going to talk too much about the idea now, I am going to say that the reason for the "survey" was to gather some ideas for male characters, ideas of who my friends would set me up with if I came to them and asked, "would you please arrange my marriage?"

So there it is, the secret revealed. Below is a chart of the responses. Responses were kept anonymous, my sister gave everyone a special character. Hope you find it as enjoyable as I did. Feel free to comment, just keep it friendly. Remember, there were no right/wrong answers. Also, my sister and I both just copied and pasted. Everything is as we received it (with very few exceptions).

I'll keep you posted about writing.

Until Next Time,
Courtney Chivon

What does he look like?

Person^: Don’t think ethnicity would matter, but I do envision him being tall, moderately built ( muscle heads need not apply), thoughtful eyes and a killer smile. Person&: As long as the personality is there looks aren't everything. Person(: Not really sure what he should look like either. Person*: He is tall, manly, defined, dark wavy hair, dark eyes. Person~: The guy would be very tall and built yet an average guy. He would have dark complexion, dark short hair and dark eyes. Person}: the person i see her with has dark hair (either brown or a darker blond) and possibly brown eyes, though they could be blue, with a body like matthew mcconaughey. Person|: well. i guess he would have to be taller than her. slim but still have muscles but not too much just enough. Person@: When I think of a mate for Courtney, The person I see Courtney with is a tall (just a little bit taller than her), handsome man. He's not buff---per say, and he's not skinny. I guess I could akin it to an athletic build. Someone who doesn't really have to work out to get the body, but it just comes as sort of natural. (a receiver type build). He's a 'white' guy, but he might have some kind of 'flavor' mixed it----Mexican, Italian, French---something that makes him a little more tan in color and would give off a more "cultured family."(and that probably just made no sense. lol)

What kind of personality does he have?

Person^: Easy going, confident, grounded, funny, intellectually stimulating. Person*: He is laid back, intelligent, a sports freak, funny, can be serious when need to be but mostly just a happy person, is down for anything, adventurous, spontanoues.  Person~: He would be very humorous and e able to hold an intellectual conversation with her and/or her friends. Must love wine!  Person}: needs a guy with an incredible intelligence. like the guys on the big bang theory but with added flair because she needs someone less nerdy and more attractive lol.she needs someone who can engage her and keep her stimulated. Person|: have a good head on his shoulder. not have everything in common with her so they can have good educational discussions. Person@: He has her sense of humor, and really is into sports. He'll go for whatever sports team is closest to his hometown. i can say he very much has a personality like Justin Timberlake. Where he's just always cracking jokes, but is very down to earth, and all-around nice guy.

What does he do for a living?

Person^: Finacial liason for a non profit organization. Person&: As long as he can do his part in supporting the family the job shouldn't mean much, as long as he's doing what he wants. Person(: He should have enough money to treat her special, but he should never use that to act like he owns her.  Person*: He will be a doctor that is involved with Doctors without borders.  Person~: His job would be something of the creative type with arts, music, or culture. Person}: someone who's a professor, lawyer or a doctor, but is also adventurous and a traveler. Person@: He's a business guy, and he works for the family business. He's well off without being loaded. It gives Courtney the freedom to work in the area she chooses without having to worry about living paycheck to paycheck. Being the only boy, it was just automatic he'd go into the family business, but he does well in it. He's a strict but firm boss--a stickler for the rules, and he follows them himself.  (per conversation may be a wine buiness in Napa Valley lol)

What kind of person is he?

Person^: Morally grounded w/ an unexpecting daring side. Person(: I think Courtney doesn't really "need" a man per se, simply because she is a complete person and multi-dimensional in and of herself. That said, I think the kind of man who would complement her personality would be someone reliable and predictable in areas of building a lasting bond of equality that includes security. Person*: He is a fun person. He is a big Giants Fan. He likes all sports but mostly football. He can get along with everyone, is kind hearted but can slap a bitch when needed. lol  Person~: He would be very sweet and caring yet be able/willing to carry on a debate.

What are his hobbies?

Person^: Reading, cooking, wine tasting, traveling, current events, playing board games, hiking, camping, tailgating, cooking out. Person&: Hobbies don't have to match, thats his thing. Person(: Courtney and this guy should have a bond with each other based on trust, but one that allows her to continue her interests and pursuits. Those interests and pursuits should overlap somewhere, not speculating on where they should overlap. Person*: Sports (all but not golf cuz that is too cliche and boring for a doctor), but he really enjoys volleyball, softball (beer drinking league), pool, and so on. He paints on his spare time, loves to read, hike, run, lift weights, drag race occasionally, loves watching movies (he enjoys all from foreign, to documentaries, to comedies, to horror and everything in between),  He likes to watch the sky (he is into weather and astronomy), he dabbles in photographer, and it is not below him to run to Taco Bell at 1 in the morning!  COFFEE, BEER, and WINE! Person~: He would be athletic and enjoy life. Adventurous. Person}: she needs someone who's the perfect mix of wanting to be outside and go hiking but also someone who'll sit inside by a fire, discussing books/music/art. Person|:  if he travels a lot that would be a plus since she loves to travel too.

Where, in the world, does he live?

Person^: Hopefully CO, he’d move for the right girl. Person*: EVERYWHERE! He really doesn't have a place he wants to needs to settle. He is ok with moving all of his life, for the fact that he doesn't hold on to material things unless it is setimental. Person~: He would live somewhere "peaceful" that would allow for serenity and tranquility. Person@: For some reason I see Courtney's mate coming from either California or the East Coast (PA/NY/MA area).

What kind of beliefs does he have?

Person^: He believes in equality, that everyone that wants to get married should be able to, he believes in the right to bear arms, he’s pro choice, he believes in marriage but doesn’t believe its for everyone. He believes that a couple can make their own rules, he believes in feminity.  Person*: He doesn't believe in one particular thing but is curious in all but won't be dragged down by it, though he doesn't like the hypocricity of it all! Person~: He would have morals but not exactly a religion preference. More of an "anything goes" type of guy.

What is his family like?

Person^: Close knit and loving. Person*: He is estranged from his family, because they don't agree with him not settling down and doing the doctors without borders but Courtney will be ok with that due to all the horror stories she's heard about motherinlaws! Person~: He would love his family yet be very independent.

What was his upbringing like?

Person^: Traditional two parent home w/ modern twists. Ex: both parents worked, dad cooked and cleaned too. Person(: I would think a guy regardless of his upbringing, would need to see the strengths and weaknesses of his upbringing and he should be able to talk about that openly. He should know some of his shortcomings enough to be self-analytical, but not to where he is stunted by them. Person*: It was extremely strict and very traditional. He is rebelling against that for his freedom and to help others. Person~: His parents would be the "hippy" type.  Person}: she doesn't or need someone who's super religious, Person|: im not sure what her religion is but im guessing he would have to have some of the same beliefs she has. Person@: I can see him coming from a family of all girls, and he's the only boy. Which is why it makes him a little more sensitive to regular issues that us females go through.

What kind of student was he?

Person^: 4.0 average Person*: He was a straight A student. He was class victoian because he parents wouldn't except anything less. He did great in college but 4.0 because this is when he started to rebel. Person~: He is very intelligent but able to turn that off at times to be able to talk with anyone. Person}: it would help if he were a good student in school. Person@: As for the basics it's harder for me to really thoroughly answer it. He was an 'ok' student. He was a normal grade school student, did enough to squeak by. He went to a state school and had a normal college existence. I can see him a president of his fraternity, without all the douchebaggery that people associate with fraternities.

Does he have a degree? If yes, what kind?

Person^: Yes. Business degree w/ an emphasis on international affairs. Person(: He would need to be able to not be intimidated by her intelligence. Whether or not he has a degree, I think he should be a self learner and have a natural curiosity and knowledge of global issues. Person*: He has 2 degrees. A PHD as a general surgeon and a Bachlors as a P.E. Coach.  Person}: he definitely has to have a degree (possibly in english, psychology or another science)and be motivated to DO something. Person|: have a masters degree in finances.

Does he want kids?

Person^: Only if it was w/the right person. Person&: The kid issue is up to them as a couple. Cant help you there. Person*: He is open but not a necessity. He can go either way.  Person}: or who wants a millions kids, though someone who's open to starting a family would be perfect. Person@: He would like kids, but only when they think they are ready for them....meaning that he's ultimately going to let Courtney decide when she wants kids.

Is he traditional or modern?

Person^: He’s both. He believes in being a gentleman and that a girl should be courted but he also doesn’t expect the lil lady to stay home while he brings home the bacon. He helps out around the house. Person*: He has tradional roots but he's more modern due to his upbringing. He's tradional when it comes to holidays, but modern when it comes to equality and thinks EVERYONE is created equal! Just the way the 4 Fathers founded this country on! Person~: He would be a mix of modern and traditional. Open the doors, etc old fashioned yet modern in the since of being the type of guy not afraid to get a mani/pedi. Person}: he'd have to be the perfect mix of traditional and modern, as my courtney is this perfect paradox. Person@: He's a traditional man....with traditional family values. I wouldn't say he's religious at the moment, but he was brought up in a religious household---possibly Catholic.

What kind of vehicle does he drive?

Person^: Something economical and eco friendly. Person&: As long as the vehicle does its part it shouldn't matter. Person*: He has a motorcycle to save on gas and a badass truck when he wants to have fun and go mudding! Person~: He would have a large truck. Person|: have a nice car but not over the top. Person@: His car is a company car and it changes every 5 years or so. Right now it's a Maxima, and he's looking into getting an SUV car....something akin to the Ford Edge.

What kind of music does he like?

Person^: Everything! Depends on his mood. Person&: Music, anything but poka and jazz. Person*: Everything! He doesn't discriminate against music just like movies. But he can Texas Two Step!  Person~: He would enjoy jazz/soft rock type music mostly yet be up for anything. Person}: he'd have to like all kinds of music, though i feel one who listens to more country/indie rock would suit her. Person|: they would need to have the similar taste in music . Person@: His music is eclectic. He's more a country music type person, but he has been known to enjoy his r&b and gangsta rap (he does enjoy himself some Snoop Dogg).

Is there an actor out there that looks like the guy you would pick?

Person^: Ryan Gosling, duh! LOL Person*: I would imagaine he would look something like Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  Person|: not sure i'd pick an actor. Person@: He' looks like a darker haired version of the actor Eric Dane.

Responses from people who didn’t follow directions.

Person!: Wow I honsestly think it might depend on what mood she's in...somedays she's the cowboy loving, country music listening, family first guy or times the rock loving, career focused, not always home on time indie man. I know all very vauge. Person$: A woman or Santa Clause or A Fat Dude with lots of money. Person%: take the guy from #####, teach him to 2 step, get him a passport, and give him a testosterone injection. Person?: to tell you the truth I am not really comfortably answering this question. I just hope she finds someone who loves her for her and treats her right. Aside from that I could really care less about the other things. sorry I could not be more help. Person+: I think she need a man not worried about appearance. A take control but not domineering man. Open minded, but can stand his own. Looks shouldn't matter. Person{: Not a clue -- I don't really know her anymore to speak of. Sorry. I'm probably not a good person to ask given my current situation right now anyways. Half the time I'm liable to say I'd be perfect, the other half I'm more tempted to just say she'd be better without the hassle. Person#: Okay...give me a bit...I'll have to think about them..I don;t wan to run off the mouth with a bunch of crap...know what I mean...lol ß- still waiting…

Extra Stuff…

Person&: And the key ingredient, the topping on the cake. He must........... must be able to get along with her crazy sister Amanda..... ha ha. hope i helped. love ya guys and happy hunting. Person(: When that feels right, she will know it. Not really sure what he should look like either. Anyway, I hope this is helpful! Person~: Oh yea and the most important part is he MUST love icecream and Starbucks!